Self Help Archives - Dear Mr. Hemingway, LLC

DEAR FRIDAY~11/4/22

November 4, 2022 by Kelly Fredericks

November 4, 2022

Dear Friday!

You are here, and I am not even the slightest bit mad about it. I am not one to wish a week away or time in general, but this week was a DOOZY! I traveled for a wedding this past glorious weekend. Even though I felt refreshed from the alone time spent with my hubby away from the kids, I started the week with a significant sleep deficit. Throw in a sick kiddo home ALL week and a few abandoned (and much-needed) routines, and my week was a bit off-centered. Instead of focusing on the things that frazzled me, I am cherishing the beautiful things that kept me grounded and put a smile on my face (AKA…spending more time with my youngest). And in case it slipped your mind, FALL BACK this weekend and set the clocks back one hour. The plus side to daylight savings is that we gain one magnificent hour of much-needed sleep. This dark and cold season is the perfect excuse to cuddle up by the fire, sip something warm, and get lost in a cozy tale.

Cheers, Friday!

xoxo,

Kelly

SHHH…CAN’T YOU SEE I’M READING

It’s officially November and a new month equals a new #DEARBASICBUDDYREADS selection. For Non-fiction November, Katie and I chose Stolen by Elizabeth Gilpin. This memoir sounds absolutely harrowing, and I can’t wait to dive in. Some early feedback from readers in our group is that the audio version (read by the author) is very good. At this point, I am leaning toward listening, but will keep you posted when I get started. Our private group chat is held over on Instagram, so be sure to DM me at @dearmrhemingway over there to join us. If you want to watch Katie and I reveal this month’s pick LIVE, CLICK HERE! Be sure to check out the synopsis and READ WITH US!

SYNOPSIS:

“At fifteen, Elizabeth Gilpin was an honor student, a state-ranked swimmer and a rising soccer star, but behind closed doors her undiagnosed depression was wreaking havoc on her life. Growing angrier by the day, she began skipping practices and drinking to excess. At a loss, her parents turned to an educational consultant who suggested Elizabeth be enrolled in a behavioral modification program. That recommendation would change her life forever.⁣
The nightmare began when she was abducted from her bed in the middle of the night by hired professionals and dropped off deep in the woods of Appalachia. Living with no real shelter was only the beginning of her ordeal: she was strip-searched, force-fed, her name was changed to a number and every moment was a test of physical survival.⁣
After three brutal months, Elizabeth was transferred to a boarding school in Southern Virginia that in reality functioned more like a prison. Its curriculum revolved around a perverse form of group therapy where students were psychologically abused and humiliated. Finally, at seventeen, Elizabeth convinced them she was rehabilitated enough to “graduate” and was released.⁣
In this eye-opening and unflinching book, Elizabeth recalls the horrors she endured, the friends she lost to suicide and addiction, and–years later–how she was finally able to pick up the pieces of her life and reclaim her identity.”

I CAN’T HEAR YOU…I’M WEARING

HEADPHONES

I am not typically one to “drink the cool aid,” but I decided to take a sip of Taylor Swift’s latest album, and I am OBSESSED! I’ve had MIDNIGHTS playing in the background since it came out, and I LOVE IT. It’s fun, moody, has a bit of an edge, and works for me 100%. MAROON and YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN, KID, have been my favorites, but I adore all the songs. The best news is that she is going on tour again, and I hope to see her because she makes me feel oh so YOUNG again, and that’s a good thing!

NETFLIX & CHILL

I am in between shows, so my hubby and I are re-watching VEEP…a political comedy starring Julia Louise-Dreyfus. This is pee-in-your-pants-my-stomach-hurts-from-laughing kind of funny, and it’s perfect for unwinding at the end of the day. It is WILDLY inappropriate, so consider yourself forwarned. Click here to check it out.

WHAT THE HELL AM I MAKING THESE PEOPLE FOR DINNER TONIGHT?

My answer to that question is NOT MUCH! My enthusiasm for cooking this week was lower than low. I kept it simple by making a few go-to meals such as pot roast and burritos and added in a pizza night to keep things exciting. Tonight my plan is for the five of us to go out for dinner and catch up as a family—all in one place with no phones or places to escape. Now, I may not have executed an epic weeknight meal plan this week, but I did make fresh bread, and that is literally the GREATEST. Not only was it a cinch to make, but it made my house smell homey and like someone baked in it for hours. The best part of this bread is that it is delicious and only has FIVE INGREDIENTS! Because of this, I would advise using the beer you love and high-quality honey for this recipe. It will make a difference. Also, be sure to grease your pan EXTRA EXTRA. I did not, and the bread was hard to get out. I think I will use parchment paper next time. HERE IS THE RECIPE! Happy Baking!

I WRITE THE SONGS THAT MAKE THE WHOLE WORLD SING

Still no songs…sorry. As I mentioned earlier, this week didn’t “flow” well for me. Hiding away and reading is my number one way to re-center myself. But a close second is writing and creating. The past few weeks, I’ve spent some time with Before You Knew My Name by Jacqueline Bublitz and The Parent Compass by Cynthia Clumeck Muchnick, MA & Jenn Curtis, MSW. I have always been very selective about what books I write about for my blog. Not only do I put my heart and soul into what I am writing, but also A LOT of time. These two books still linger in my mind and could not be any more different. Be sure to click the links above and read what I said.

MUST I PARENT THESE CHILDREN?

YUP!!!!!! This is happening! For the love of GOD, I CAN NOT believe that I have entered this new-to-me arena of parenting. I just picked up this book from various parenting sites after reading about how wonderful it is. This is Fiske’s 39th Edition, so it’s safe to say it’s a good one. If you are beginning this process with your kiddo or will be in the next year or so, keep this book in mind. It has a 2-3 page write-up on almost every college in the United States. The information provided is the perfect combination of stats (acceptance rate, cost, financial aid, etc.), the primary focus of studies, student life, campus offerings, and more. I find this book easy to navigate, with digestible information that does not overwhelm me. It is also great for your college-bound kid to poke through. Because it is one “chunky monster,” it can be used as a doorstop once your teen gets into college!

FRIDAY I’M IN LOVE

Have you noticed an increase in junk mail lately? I am baffled at the waste whenever I grab the mail from our box. Junky advertisements, random papers, and piles of catalogs fill my poor mailbox to its breaking point. This, of course, does not include the essential pieces of mail, such as bills and cards—things I want to be able to find. As I thumbed through last night’s pile of crap, a few noteworthy catalogs caught my eye. Even though I’ve seen these stores and ordered from them occasionally, I usually don’t give them a second glance before sending them to the recycling bin. However, Halloween is officially behind us (PRAISE BE), and I am dreaming of the holiday season. So when I spied candy canes, ornaments, and whimsical garland on a glossy page out of the corner of my eye, my heart skipped a beat. I quickly nestled those magical-looking catalogs under my arm, grabbed a cozy glass of red, and beelined over to the couch. I flipped through every one of these catalogs reading through each description as if it was a holiday romance novel while allowing the sparkling images to occupy my mind. I sat cuddled on my couch dreaming about reindeer sheets and a poinsettia quilt draped on my bed, holiday lights dangling from every window, cozy fires created from perfectly stacked wood piles next to the fireplace (meanwhile, I have an electric fireplace), and Christmas trees decked out in various themes in EVERY room of my house (even the bathroom). Do I want to buy everything in these catalogs? YES! Will I buy anything from these catalogs? NO! Here is the thing— these catalogs provided me with 20 minutes of pure joy. And yes, after I finished swooning over the plaid blankets lined with faux fur and stockings hung with care on overdressed mantels, I delivered these bad boys straight to the recycling bin—but not without thanking them first!

DEAR FRIDAY~10/14/22

October 17, 2022October 14, 2022 by Kelly Fredericks

October 14, 2022

Dear Friday!

You are here again, and I am not mad about it. Monday holidays always throw me off and completely mess with my head. I basically had no clue what the date was or what day it was ALL WEEK. It all worked out because I began tackling my house. My goal for the next full year is to GET RID OF STUFF and to be more mindful of what we purchase and bring into our home moving forward. If it does not serve my family or me… it’s gone. I do not want to stare at odds and ends around the house. I do not want closets overflowing with all of our “things.” I do not want a basement bursting at the seams with crap we threw down there to avoid dealing with. I do not want my digital life to be so abundant that it needs to be stored in some imaginary cloud that I don’t know how to access. I want to feel lighter. I want my head to be clear. I want to be organized. I want an uncluttered life. This will take a lot of time, but I am determined! I also have three teenage boys, so please pray for me 😂😂. If you are looking for a great book on minimizing all the garbage in your life…check out LOVE PEOPLE USE THINGS.

Ok…on with all the good stuff from the week!

Have a wonderful weekend!

xoxo,

Kelly

SHHH…CAN’T YOU SEE I’M READING

I am in the middle of reading The Chain by Adrian McKinty for the #DEARBASICBUDDYREADS October book. It is a super fast read with short chapters to gobble up. So far, the pacing is quick, and the storyline is holding my interest. Fingers crossed, it continues in this direction. If you are on Instagram, CLICK HERE for more information on how to join our online discussion this month. I am also FINALLY reading Zibby Owens’ memoir, Bookends. I am a big fan of Zibby, her passion for great books and authors, and all her contributions to the literary world. I also enjoy writing for her publication…ZIBBY MAG (formerly MOMS DON’T HAVE TIME TO) and being a part of the ZIBBY MAG writing community. Read my funny piece about “getting it on” in the middle of the day…RIGHT HERE!

I CAN’T HEAR YOU…I’M WEARING HEADPHONES

I am currently reading/listening to the final book in the Beartown Trilogy. Backman is hands down…one of my favorite authors. I received an advanced copy of The Winners last spring, and guess what? I couldn’t read it. I stared at it every day but did not want to read it because reading it would be the end, and I could not face the end of this story. I am sure the publishers were thrilled with this 😂. Anyway, I am s-l-o-w-l-y alternating between listening and physically reading this book. I am savoring EVERY moment, EVERY character, and EVERY sentence 🥲.

On an entirely different note, I listened to a fantastic episode from Jen Hatmaker’s For The Love Podcast titled THE MOST EMPOWERING THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX & YOUR BODY WITH EMILY NAGOSKI. I highly recommend this episode, but listen with headphones on 😂. It’s empowering, educational, truthful, eye-opening, and just plain fun! I am now interested in checking out Emily Nagoski’s best-selling book, Come As You Are. I mean, why not make sure we are doing everything and anything to have the most incredible sex ever. I’ll keep you posted.

NETFLIX & CHILL

So last week, I shared that I listen to Caroline Kepnes’ book, YOU. I just finished binge-watching season one of the NETFLIX version, and it did not disappoint. It followed the book mostly, with a few changes here and there. I am a big fan of Penn Badgley (Hello Dan from Gossip Girl). I am not allowing myself to watch the next season until I read the second book, Hidden Bodies. However, from what I gathered, you could probably just cut to the chase and watch the series and call it good if you do not feel like reading the books. There are only so many hours in a day.

Another show I must recommend that I caught up on this summer is PHYSICAL on AppleTV. One of my besties recommended this, and I’ve been hooked. In my opinion, this show is underrated and needs more attention because it is the absolute bomb! The 80s vibe is out of this world, and the characters are entirely nuts, 100% unreliable, and will drive you CRAZY! Despite their awfulness, though, you will fall in love with them. The show tackles eating disorders, sexual abuse, and so much more with the 80s mindset and diet culture front and center. If you are sensitive to this subject matter, then take a pass. If not, have at it. It’s a hoot! There are two seasons, and the episodes are under 30 minutes. For this one, you will probably want to dust off your old exercise videos, High-Top Reeboks, and VCRs!

WHAT THE HELL AM I MAKING THESE PEOPLE FOR DINNER TONIGHT?

Today I am sharing a SLAM-DUNK RECIPE. It’s another dump-all-the-ingredients-in-the-crockpot situation and is a real crowd-pleaser. So this Instant Pot Short Rib Black Bean Chili can be made in an instant pot or a crockpot. I did the ladder, and it rocked! The short ribs give this chili a little “something-something” that separates it from your run-of-the-mill ground beef versions. At the end of the cook cycle, the short ribs shred effortlessly with the back of a fork. Chef’s Kiss! I highly recommend this for game day or busy week nights!

I WRITE THE SONGS THAT MAKE THE WHOLE WORLD SING

I am sorry to say that I am still not writing any songs. However, I am waiting to hear back on a few more pieces I submitted for publication while writing many other fun things. In the meantime, I loved this piece by Fridrik Backman in the New York Times. And if you need a bit more Backman in your life, check out what I had to say about one of his leading ladies RIGHT HERE!

MY BODY’S A TEMPLE…BLAH, BLAH, BLAH

My body IS a temple, and I lifted weights this week to honor it four times. I will say that lifting weights makes me feel fantastic, and I enjoy doing it. Right now, I have a membership with BEACHBODY. There are tons of workout programs to choose from that are either single workouts or specific programs that last for a particular duration (i.e., 6 wks/5 days a week, etc.). I love the variety of programs, recipes, and nutritional plans they have and highly recommend this if you want to work out at home. They also have accountability coaches and private social media communities for inspiration and support if that’s your jam. This currently seems to work for me, so I am just going with it. I am severely lacking in the cardio arena, so that is my mission for next week. I must add that I do not work for BEACHBODY or am an affiliate for them. I’m just a happy customer sharing.

FRIDAY I’M IN LOVE

Friday I’m in love. Yes, I named this blurb after The Cure’s song. They are, after all, my favorite band ever! So what am I in love with this week? TEA! That’s right, good old fashion hot tea to sip on during the day because it is getting COLD here in Maine. One fun fact about me is that I am a collector of teas. I am a sucker for a new flavor, gorgeous packaging, and if it comes in a quaint tin can…I’m buying it! I own more tea than I can drink, and I love it! My latest find is CARMEL APPLE by The Republic of Tea. It is caffeine free and tastes like a cozy fall day in a mug. If I feel wild, I add a splash of unsweetened vanilla almond milk to elevate my tea-drinking experience. Can you say DELICIOUS? I sometimes find seasonal flavors like this one at TARGET or WHOLE FOODS. It is hit or miss. If your stores do not sell this flavor, you can always grab it RIGHT HERE!

*Book links provided in today’s post are affiliate links. Dear Mr. Hemingway makes a tiny commission through books purchased in our storefront. Even better, 20% of purchases made through the Dear Mr. Hemingway storefront go towards an independent bookstore. Thank you so much for all of your support!

Mother of Dragons

June 24, 2021 by Kelly Fredericks

*Slay Like a Mother: How to Destroy What’s Holding You Back So You Can Live the Life You Want* by Katherine Wintsch (Source Books)

“Your cruel inner voice is your worst enemy, and it’s making life harder than it has to be. To make changes, you need to hear, trust, and believe the following statement with every bone in your body: You are not the voice in your head. It might sound like you, but it is not you; it might be inside of you, but it is not rooting for you. It is fueled by your dragon, and therefore, it is fighting against you.”

June 24, 2021

Dear Mr Hemingway,

Being a mother is tough stuff. Let’s face it, raising small human beings to be independent, good people is no easy feat. Throw in a healthy portion of self doubt and this motherhood gig just got a whole lot more interesting. As a mom to three, I personally know all about self doubt, negative thinking and how pure exhaustion can literally take over and lead the way (been there, done that and still a work in progress). Self confidence is hard to come by, especially when it’s competing with all the garbage that has invaded our heads. Why just muddle through motherhood though when we can enjoy the experience without losing ourselves along the way. It’s time to rejoice! Katherine Wintsch is here to share that you can be a thriving mom and eat your cake too. Young mothers and seasoned mothers alike will find nuggets of wisdom from Wintsch’s book, Slay Like a Mother, that will carry them through this crazy mom journey with some much needed peace and understanding. Let’s take a look!

“If you despise “perfect mothers”, then stop trying to be the bitch you hate.”

Wintsch’s book is all about slaying our dragons. Dragons are the things that are holding us moms back from being the best version of ourselves. Traumatic events, negative thinking, self doubt, being too sensitive, and my favorite…comparing ourselves to other moms are just a few examples of dragons that are taking up residence in our heads. Wintsch offers her readers a behind the scenes look at where these dragons come from, how to manage these beasts and how to eventually eliminate all of these fire breathing creatures from our lives. Struggling is a part of motherhood. However, it’s when the switch flips from struggling to suffering that reevaluation becomes dire. Slay Like a Mother is filled with everyday examples of situations that wreak havoc on our personal growth and fuel those flame throwing dragons. There are interactive sections between the pages that aid in identifying what our unique issues are. For example, would you talk to your friend the way you talk to yourself, what battles are worth winning, and how do you define success for yourself are all situations that can be explored and analyzed in a constructive way. How great is that? You can read this book, write in it and then re-visit it for optimal results. Peace Out self doubt!!!

“When you give away your free time, you believe others deserve it more than you.”

Slay Like a Mother is a breath of fresh air to mothers young and old. I loved how it didn’t read like a “self help” book, but instead like a friend helping a friend. Instead of preaching and lecturing (no one likes that), Wintsch shares and relates. Her writing has a vulnerability and understanding to it that gives off an empowering vibe. Learning how to “not care what other moms think” or how to get off the comparison merry-go-round may not be rocket science, but it is still downright HARD to do. Having a few of those oh so shiny swords at our disposal to slay these nuisances are always welcome.

“Be the slayer you want to see in the world.”

It is time to get our slay on and take care of some much needed business so we can be kick ass moms and live our lives to the fullest!

Write to you again soon my friend!

Your Biggest Fan,

Kelly

P.S. Be sure to check out everything about Slay Like a Mother Right Here.

***I received a copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review. My opinions are 100% my own. If I don’t like it…I don’t share it!

Girls…Run The World

January 8, 2021August 24, 2020 by Kelly Fredericks

Untamed and Fierce, Free, Fire Beauty Shot

Untamed by Glennon Doyle (The Dial Press) &
Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide To Being Glorious You by Jen Hatmaker (Thomas Nelson)

August 24, 2020

Dear Mr. Hemingway,

I am coming at you today Mr. H. with a whole lot of girl power. I hope all your “masculinity” can handle it 😂. I am talking about the fabulous Glennon Doyle and Jen Hatmaker! These two motivational ladies are the “QUEENS” of self love and all things good in the world. They know how to navigate the murky waters of religion and sexual identity. With empathy, they champion those who struggle. They are “momming” hard with all the rest of us, sharing their triumphs and challenges with their kids every step of the way. They believe in the power of relationships and the people around us. But most importantly, they want to live their most authentic lives. Both women have the gift of connecting with their audience. When I read their words or listen to them speak, it feels like I am in a room with one of my closest girlfriends. They are inspirational, compassionate, and downright hysterical. Let me move forward now and tell you about their latest books!

I have been following Glennon Doyle forever. I have read her previous books, Carry on, Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life, and Love Warrior: A Memoir. I have listened to many of her interviews and podcast appearances and basically feel like she could be my next-door neighbor. In her latest book, Untamed, Glennon once again invites her readers into her life sharing intimate details of her family and her mission for equality and all things good in the world. She shares with us her divorce from her husband (and father to their three children) and her love story with her wife Abby (ummm…greatest woman soccer player ever….just saying). She talks about the importance of knowing who you are and how the relationship you have with yourself is your foundation, your home base in the world.

What I love about Glennon is that she embraces the awkward questions revolving around sexual identity, politics, sobriety, parenting and more. She understands that so many of us are trying to figure out the hard stuff. Let’s face it, life can be messy at times. It’s having the guts to ask edgy questions that bring clarity to oftentimes difficult issues that moves us closer to the truth. Glennon welcomes these conversations and nourishes them with her heart and soul. She shows her readers how to take on the gritty issues…She firmly believes that “We Can Do Hard Things”. She is so right…We totally can do hard things. I can do hard things and so can you. I felt so well balanced after reading Untamed. Such a much needed pick me up during these strange pandemic times. I hope you enjoy Glennon’s book as much as I did.

Let’s move on to the lovely Jen Hatmaker. So Jen is another powerhouse woman that I have also been following for many, many years. I am a fan of her Podcast, For The Love and an even bigger fan of her personal journey as a woman of faith and a motivational speaker. Here is the thing about Jen. She does the work. She doesn’t just talk, talk, talk. She examines, explores and researches the tough topics. She is not afraid to try new things and she embraces failure. Her latest book, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire has everything you need to know about owning your space and not having to justify to ANYONE who you are. Jen encourages women to stop hiding, pretending or posing as someone else. It is all just too exhausting. Our one and only life is ours and we need to live it well and live it truthfully. When we do that, guess what happens…we flourish. One thing that is awesome about her book is that it is not preachy. Jen makes it very clear that even though our journey’s may look similar, each of our endgames are different.

Jen is the best girlfriend to her readers. She shares the importance of our friendships and “vibrant relationships” in our lives. She shares her personal exploration with religion and God and all the hiccups along the way. She shows her readers how to examine their own faith (if they want to…again, no pressure) and figure out what is right for them. Jen speaks about her friendships and faith with absolute honesty. That is what makes her shine.

Jen is no stranger to the everyday challenges of being a woman. Weight issues, self-esteem, wrinkles, loneliness and raising kids…Jen dives right into these issues with experience and of course, a whole lot of humor. Her book inspires me to be the best version of myself. While I continue to nourish my relationships with my friends and family, I will most importantly be taking care of my one true self. That feels pretty incredible to me. Enjoy this treasure during these unprecedented times.

Well my friends, Glennon Doyle and Jen Hatmaker are two women that not only speak their truth, but are vibrant with fantastic wisdom that so many of us women can truly appreciate. There is something for everyone in their books. Whether all or even just parts of their writing resonate with you, I hope you embrace their positivity and love yourself.

Until next time!

Your Biggest Fan!

Kelly

P.S. I did a combination of reading both books and listening to them on audio. I am not going to lie, both authors narrate their respective books so it is almost like listening to a super long fabulous podcast. I loved both books on audio. Jen adds extra commentary and clips from relevant podcasts, which enhance your listening experience of her book. If you are an audio lover, be sure to check out Libro.fm. I am a huge fan. Your purchases go directly to the local bookstore of your choice. How cool is that?

Click on the Book Pics below to purchase.

💐Buy Yourself The Flowers 💐

January 8, 2021April 1, 2020 by Kelly Fredericks

Don’t Overthink It: Make Easier Decisions, Stop Second-Guessing, And Bring More Joy to Your Life (Baker Publishing Group)

By Anne Bogel

April 1, 2020

Dear Mr. Hemingway,

Decisions, decisions, decisions. That is all I seem to make these days. I know I am fortunate to have options, but why does deciding on what to make for dinner each night feel like it will literally put me over the edge? Crazy, right? I remember reading in Psychology Today that the average person makes somewhere around 35,000 decisions each day 😯😯. That is absolutely nuts! There is a reason why my brain is completely fried come dinner time. Pair that with the other 34,999 decisions I’ve made that day and it’s a wonder my head doesn’t explode.

I am happy to say that Anne Bogel’s latest book, Don’t Overthink It, is a breath of fresh air for all of us looking to simplify our daily decision making. Readers are greeted with Bogel’s friendly and down to earth personality. She instantly gives readers the tools they need to be more joyful in the midst of their over-scheduled lives. In a world filled with chaos, this book brought me to hope that the calm I am seeking is not that far out of reach.

“Deciding whether to cut a workout short by a few minutes is a little thing, but these little decisions add up. Each decision we make throughout the day takes a toll on our finite amount of mental energy-what to have for breakfast, which route to take to work, how to handle a tricky conversation, whether to buy new jeans before the sale ends, how our child will get home from practice on Friday. Each small decision requires only a bit of brainpower, but the cumulative effect is large.”

This my friends is why so many of us are suffering from decision fatigue. Anne Bogel comes to the rescue with uncomplicated strategies to help us conquer our days with more joy than stress. Worrying, second-guessing, and sweating the small stuff all lead us down unproductive paths. Bogel helps us to navigate not only the common everyday decisions (i.e. what to wear, what to make for dinner, etc.) to the more complex situations (i.e. values and finances, engaging in a difficult conversation, etc.). Having a signature dish, creating a daily ritual, simplifying your wardrobe, limiting your options, and finishing a task 100% before moving on, are just a few small changes she suggests implementing.

So many of us have jam-packed schedules with no room for error. Our cups have runneth over…we are maxed out! Bogel talks about the importance of building in a “margin” for the unexpected things that pop up. This margin not only provides us the freedom to be more spontaneous but offers us some much-needed breathing room. Imagine being able to grab an impromptu cup of coffee with a friend or go for an unexpected bike ride with one of your kids. You can even take it to the next level and maybe, just maybe, soak in a bubble bath for an entire episode of your favorite podcast 😮😮😮. How nice does that sound?

What I found to be beneficial in Bogel’s book is the questions and workspace provided at the end of each chapter called Next Steps. These questions and prompts allow readers to tailor Bogel’s framework to meet their individual needs. Sample questions include, “Which habits serve you well right now? Which habits need some work?” “Do you feel technology is currently spurring you to overthink? What steps can you take to limit technology creep?” “Can you recall a memorable splurge? What was it?” “When it comes to simple pleasures, do you ever catch yourself thinking, I don’t deserve this?”

My favorite example from this book is when Bogel talks about hemming and hawing over whether or not she should buy herself a bouquet of flowers at one of her favorite local stores. I have done this countless times at Trader Joes in Portland, Maine (Let’s face it, Trader Joe’s has the best and least expensive flowers ever 💐💐). After much debate (with herself), she left without the flowers 😢. She talks about how later, she broke down her thoughts and after careful consideration, decided that she would never pause in front of the flower stand again while shopping at her favorite store. Instead of wasting precious time and mental energy on this issue…..she will always buy herself the flowers in the future. Bogel also suggests incorporating into our days “mental health breaks”. Taking a brief walk, reading a chapter, or just sitting quietly on the front porch are all small ways to recharge during the day. I think we all could use a little bit more juice in our batteries! Small changes throughout the day yield BIG results. I can get down with that.

Don’t Overthink It is a book for NOW. It is bubbling over with healthy and helpful ways to vanquish anything that comes our way. Anne Bogel effortlessly takes on decision making like a pro. She graciously offers us a sneak peek into simplicity at its finest. Now is the time to clear out our cluttered minds, stop wasting time overthinking everything, and live the life we crave.

So the next time you go to make even the smallest decision, ask yourself…What would Anne Bogel tell you to do? DON’T OVERTHINK IT!

Your Biggest Fan,

Kelly

P.S. Make sure you check out Anne Bogel’s FABULOUS podcast…..What Should I Read Next! It is delightful!

Click on the book pic to purchase Anne Bogel’s book!

Discussion Read~Instagram

January 8, 2021January 13, 2020 by Kelly Fredericks

Discussion Read Graphic for Book You're Not Listening

You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters (Celadon Books)

By Kate Murphy

January 13, 2020

Dear Book Lovers,

LISTEN UP!!!!! I want to invite you over to my Instagram page to join in on what is going to be a wonderful discussion. On February 6th, my book-loving friend from Colorado (Sue) and I are Co-Hosting a discussion read over on Instagram. The book we will be conversing about is Kate Murphy’s book, You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters.

Here is the synopsis from the publisher: “Despite living in a world where technology allows constant digital communication and opportunities to connect, it seems no one is really listening or even knows how. And it’s making us lonelier, more isolated, and less tolerant than ever before. A listener by trade, New York Times contributor Kate Murphy wanted to know how we got here.

In this always illuminating and often humorous deep dive, Murphy explains why we’re not listening, what it’s doing to us, and how we can reverse the trend. She makes accessible the psychology, neuroscience, and sociology of listening while also introducing us to some of the best listeners out there (including a CIA agent, focus group moderator, bartender, radio producer, and top furniture salesman). Equal parts cultural observation, scientific exploration, and rousing call to action that’s full of practical advice, You’re Not Listening is to listening what Susan Cain’s Quiet was to introversion. It’s time to stop talking and start listening.”

Why Instagram??? I have chosen this platform for a group discussion because it accommodates a large number of people and is easy and quick to comment on anytime of day/night. If you are not on Instagram, you do not need to post anything on your account to join in on the conversation. The best example I can share is my mom. My mom has no desire to be on social media. She did however make a private account to follow me and a few others and have access to make and read comments. ❤️❤️❤️. Anyway, no pressure. Just wanted to share. I will have a conversation on Facebook as well on February 6th. Because this is Co-hosted, it will not have the full conversation. No social media at all………No Problem. I will post the highlights of the conversation on the blog after February 6th.

I hope to HEAR from you on February 6th.

All the Best,

Kelly

P.S. Click here to reach my Instagram post announcing the group read.

Click here to purchase Kate Murphy’s book

Click on the Book Pics below to purchase.

Don’t Overthink It: Make Easier Decisions, Stop Second-Guessing, And Bring More Joy to Your Life (Baker Publishing Group)

By Anne Bogel

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